He couldn’t stop thinking about her. No matter what he did, she had to be in his mind. Dirk didn’t know if it was love or not. What he wanted was a complication in itself: He didn’t want it to be love; but he wanted it so much to be love.
And…and there was still Lilith.
He stared at his phone. It would be about a week since she had asked to get back together…She said that she couldn’t live without him.
And, somehow, he still wanted to not live without her.
He picked up his phone, intent on calling Lilith. Tonight, he’d probably ask to go to the tree house from the Long Way and they would be able to embrace in understanding. Tonight, he would love and become human once again.
Her name came along. “Lilith,” he whispered. Her name had once become taboo for the longest time. Her image was Lucifer’s, once upon a time not so long ago. Just the thought of her had become his sin. And, now…now, he would get back with her and everything would fall into place.
And, if he did get back with her, everyone would be appreciative. She was more loving when she was in love. During their separation, she was on a rampage and became very hostile. More than once had her friends pleaded with him to get back with Lilith.
He couldn’t listen to them back then because he didn’t know what he wanted either. Now, the move had been played and he was certain that he wanted her.
Well, partially certain.
The scenes replayed in his mind for what seemed like the millionth time. But, he still never got bored of them. They were his favorite movies.
He saw himself seeing her for what seemed like the first time ever. She didn’t look like the little girl that he had said goodbye to nearly ten years ago. She didn’t look like anyone he ever knew. And, it was then that his heart flipped flopped in a way that had once happened when he first saw Lilith.
When she first smiled at him with the sunset as a backdrop, he felt that she was going to be the one forever. He was well aware that he was going too fast, but it seemed like she didn’t mind one bit. The warmth of her hand in his had sent chills up his back; just recalling that memory caused his skin to become goose-bumped.
But, he still had Lilith. He kept reassuring himself. “I love her, goddammit.”
So, why had he finally stopped at Susie’s number?
“Hello?” Susie’s voice was soft and familiar. “Dirk?”
“H-hi, Susie.”
“Hi.”
The silence came from Dirk.
“…Are you there?”
“Y-yeah. I’m here.” He couldn’t say what he wanted to say. All that came out was, “So…”
“Yeah?”
“…What are you doing?”
“Reading a book.”
“What book?”
“Crime and Punishment.”
“For English?”
“Yeah.”
“Who do you have?”
“Hessen.”
“Is she good?”
“…She’s okay for an AP.”
“You’re not in prep?”
“I have five AP’s.”
“I-I didn’t know. That means you’re going to a good college?”
He could hear her smile over the phone. “Full scholarship to Veronaville State College.” Of course the college would be one of the top ten of the nation.
“VSC? That means you’ll move?”
She sighed. “Yep.”
“Oh…”
“Where will you be going?”
It was something to be ashamed of when compared to VSC. “I’ll be going to technical school for computer drafting and design…”
“That’s cool. My dad finished technical school in our country.”
“Where’s that?”
“Where’s what?”
“Your country?”
“…Thailand…”
“That’s cool.” He cleared his throat. “…Does this mean you’ll officially move to Veronaville?”
The pause seemed like a complete stop. “…I already said yes…”
“Oh…well, congrats.”
She laughed. “It’s a little late, but thanks.” Dirk heard a beep. “Oh, hey, Dirk. I’ve got to go. I have someone else on the line.”
Who is it? “Your boyfriend?” Dirk laughed.
There was a silence that ensued.
“Susie? You there?”
“Y-yeah.”
“So, it’s your boyfriend? I knew you had one,” he joked.
“Yeah…It-it’s him, so I’ve got to go. Bye.”
Before he could reply, or let what she had quickly said register, she had already hung up. The dial tone rang in his ears as if echoing what she had just said: Yeah…it’s him, so I’ve got to go.
Danielle had seen it: that look on Dirk’s face. At first, she wanted to interrogate him and find out who it was. Now, she knew that waiting for him to say it would make her day rather than to force him to say it.
Dirk was lucky. He was in love, and love was the greatest ambrosia in the world.
She remembered tasting that ambrosia once. It was such a wonderful flavor…
Now, as she walked in the market picking out some family favorites, she wanted that sweet taste on her lips again.
She stopped by the graham crackers section. As she reached for a box, her hand brushed against someone else’s.
She looked at the owner of the other hand. The owner of the other hand also looked at her. And, for the longest moment, they stared at each other.
“Uh, ex-excuse me,” Danielle started.
“No-no, it’s my fault.” He smiled. “Pardon me.”
He took a box of graham crackers and walked away. Danielle stared at him walking away. And, she felt something erupt into her heart.
Though that man was one of the worst kind of people, there was something about him that attracted her. She felt a small feeling that she had felt when she had first met Darren.
But, miraculously, that man turned around and walked back towards her.
Her heart did a little jump, thinking that he might be coming to talk to her.
He smiled, but reached for another box of graham crackers.
She quickly began to walk away, ashamed that he might’ve seen that look in her eyes.
“Ma’am? Excuse me!” he called out.
She turned around, but her cart was instantly hit by another cart.
The driver of the other cart—Dina Caliente—was instantly apologetic. “I’m so sorry! Are-are you okay?”
“I-I’m fine.” Danielle smiled. “I wasn’t paying attention; I’m sorry.”
After settings were made, the two women went their separate ways. But, that man followed.
“It’s all my fault; I’m so sorry,” he apologized.
“I-It’s okay.”
“I shouldn’t have called out to you like that.”
“I’m fine and no real damage has been done.”
“I-I was just about to tell you that you dropped this.” He handed to her the shopping list.
“Thank you. I don’t think I’d get my shopping done without this.”
The attractive man smiled his heart-stopping smile. “I wouldn’t get done with shopping without mine either…” He noticed the amount of TV dinners in her cart. He suspected that she was single… “Are those all for yourself? Pardon my asking…”
She smiled. “No. My husband likes TV dinners.”
“Oh,” he said—a bit of sadness lining his voice. “So, you’re married.” He teasingly smiled. “And, here I thought I would be lucky to meet such a beautiful woman that isn’t married.”
When was the last time that a man called her beautiful? When was the last time that an attractive man called her that?
“Have I seen you before?” he asked. “You look familiar…Do you happen to work with Dr. Larson?”
Danielle nodded, immediately recognizing her associate’s name. “Yes, she’s my associate.”
“I knew I recognized you! You’re Dr. Leroy, aren’t you?” His smile truly widened. “I went in a couple of times to drop off some medications. I work with the hospital.” He reached out his hand to shake hers. “Don. Don Lothario.”
And, just as Eve received the temptation of the fruit, Danielle shook his hand. And, just like Eve, she would regret the first step into sin.
Throughout the whole day, Dirk refused to look at Susie. And, as a matter of fact, she refused to look at him, too. Thus, this pained him even more. She was ignoring him. Totally ignoring him.
Last night’s conversation replayed over a million times in his mind. She was reading The Grapes of Wrath. She was going to VSC. She was from Thailand; her dad had graduated a technical school.
She had a boyfriend.
Her boyfriend was calling.
She had to go, so she could talk to her boyfriend.
By the end of the day, he was a total mess. What was right was wrong, and what was wrong was totally right. He swore that his parents were going to get a call from one of his teachers…
As he neared the parking lot, someone pulled him away. He felt the cold lip piercing against his, and it took him awhile to realize that it was Lilith.
“Hey,” she finally greeted. “You look down.”
“…I feel fine.”
She shrugged. “Let’s get some pizza or something.” She pulled out a cigarette.
“Jeez, at least wait until we’re out of here!” He snatched the cigarette away.
“Gosh, MOM, I didn’t know you cared so much,” she scoffed. “It’s not like anyone’s going to tell…I’m already in a lot of trouble, so it wouldn’t matter if the teachers saw and phoned my parents.”
“Don’t you care…even a little bit?”
“About what?”
“About your health…About your brain?”
She snickered. “All that time at the hospital has finally gotten to your brain. You never said anything before.”
He bit his lip. “I-I just don’t want you to die.”
She smirked. “Death is too pussy to get me.”
When Danielle accepted the co-pay for her patient, she didn’t expect to see Don Lothario behind her patient. His smile was infatuating and it easily appeared on her lips.
“Hello, Dr. Leroy.”
“Hello, Mr. Lothario.”
“I-I just came by to drop off some medicine.” He brought out a box from underneath the counter.
She nodded. “How much do I owe you?”
“Ac-actually, it’s Dr. Larson who pays.”
“She’s not here, today.”
“Well, then, it totals to a hundred and forty.”
“One moment.” After telling her assistant to write a check, Danielle tried not to catch his eye; it was a poor attempt because he was staring at her.
“Has your husband finished all of those TV dinners?” Somehow, she thought she might have heard regret in his voice.
“Al-almost.”
“And, all those graham crackers…?”
“Those-those are actually mine.”
“Oh…”
When the check came, Danielle quickly handed it to him.
“Well, I guess I’ll be going.”
Danielle smiled and nodded. “Bye.”
“Bye.” Don began to walk to the front door; immediately, he stopped and turned around and walked back to the counter.
Danielle stared at him.
“Have you had lunch yet?” he asked.
“I-I.”
“If you haven’t, then would you like to get lunch with me. I’m on my lunch right now…How about it?”
The casual invitation sent a thump or two into her bloodstream. “Well…” She looked around, noting the lack of patients in the office…And, she hadn’t had her lunch break yet… “Well…”
The two settled on a MacDonald’s. Upon seeing his order, she laughed.
“What?” He smiled. “What’s funny about chicken nuggets?”
“It’s just that, my kids always get chicken nuggets, so I assume that chicken nuggets are a child’s favorite.”
“That’s an understatement. My girls love Big Macs.”
“You have children?” That was something she knew; she just didn’t know how many he had.
“I have five.”
“Wow…”
“And you?”
“Well…” She rubbed her protruding womb. “This is number three…”
“That’s good…I love kids.” He seemed to stare at her womb. “Is it a boy? Or a girl?”
“…I kind of don’t want to know, but I have a feeling that it’s a girl. It’s my mom’s family’s thing: they always have girls.”
“…If you don’t mind me saying, I think this one’s a boy…” He looked up at her and his dazzling green eyes took her breath away. “Trust me on this one.”
She smiled. “I hope it is…I’ll even start calling it a ‘he’, just in case.”
“How long has it been?”
“Six months.”
“Oh, wow. When are you going on maternity leave?”
“I’m thinking next month…I have a lot of patients, and they’re really excited about him…but, you know, even with their encouragements on going on maternity leave and everything, I just can’t will myself to even go on maternity leave.”
“You’re a working woman.” He slipped a fry into his mouth. “I like that.”
When was the last time someone said that they loved the fact that she was working? No, no one had ever paid her that kind of compliment. When Darren had found out about her working, he was devastated. He strongly believed that women should stay at home.
“I love to work,” she found herself responding, “It’s the only thing I really enjoy doing nowadays.” By the time she had said it, she realized her mistake. She couldn’t undo any of what she had said…but, then again, she really didn’t want to undo what she had said.
He chuckled. “I can name about ten other things that I really enjoy doing.” After a sip of Sprite, he looked at her. “…Your husband is…Darren, right, Mrs. Dreamer?”
Her breath caught in her throat. That was right—Cassandra’s other children were Don’s. She slowly nodded her head. “I-I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“…For my husband and Miss Cassandra…”
He awkwardly stared at his food tray. “I-I didn’t bring up the subject of your husband, anticipating an apology…It’s just that…I-I kind of just wanted to know how you feel about Lucas…Because, I don’t know what to feel.”
Danielle parted her lips, but then kept them shut.
“When Cassandra called me about Lucas, I…I honestly didn’t know what to feel. Of course, I wanted to know if he was my boy or not, but—I’m sorry—but, another part of me wanted Darren to be Lucas’s father…”
“…I understand.”
Don looked at her.
“I understand perfectly…I kind of want Darren to be there for Lucas as well. I won’t hide the fact that I’m going through marital problems right now…No, I know I shouldn’t hide it. Right now, honestly, I am only looking for a way to get away from this town…You see, I think that Miss Cassandra and Darren would be happy together. From what I’ve heard, before me and while Darlene was alive, Darren was already head over heels in love with Miss Cassandra. Now, I think he deserves that happiness with her…And…And, I’ll just go home and be alright.”
“…You’re a strong woman.”
She smiled, trying to avoid the tears. “Thanks. I try to be.”
“I admire that you’re strong.” The look in his eyes was anything but lust and want.
But, she could only see lust and want in his eyes. And, for once, she really didn’t mind it—she kind of actually wanted it.
“I kind of have been thinking about leaving Pleasantview as well. I’m probably going to return back to Veronaville.”
“You’re from there?”
“I have family there, but I’m actually from Strangetown. I was born there and raised there until I was five; when we moved to Veronaville.”
“Strangetown…” The smile on her face was totally unexpected. “I-I’m from Strangetown.”
Her smile reappeared on his. “Really? Oh, then you must be from that Leroy family. Yes, with—what’s his name?—Elias Leroy?”
“That’s my father!”
“My father used to be a business associate with him. I kind of remember meeting your father…Yes, a kind man.”
“Yes, yes, that’s him. He’s very kind.” She cleared her throat. “W-when did you decide to come to Pleasantview?”
“I had a scholarship to Pleasantview State College. So, I’ve been here for a long time…almost twenty years.”
“That’s a long time. You must miss home…”
“Do you miss home?”
“…Yes.” She just couldn’t look into his eyes.
“…Maybe we should visit home one day…together.”
Was it just her or did his hand seem much closer than before? Were her eyes playing tricks? Why did his lips look so nice?
“Do you love me…?”
Dirk mumbled something over the girl’s neck.
“Stop it! That tickles! Dirk, God, I’m serious. Do you love me?”
Dirk pulled away from her and looked into her green eyes. He brought his hand and raked her short red hair. “…I love you,” he whispered.
She smiled. “I love you too.”
With the taste of that word on his lips, he kissed her again. Lilith…Lilith, I love you. It sounded like the first time—the very first time. But, it was the second time—and, it was very different than the very first time.
This time, there was really nothing there to hold him down. Every kiss, every stroke, every brush—it was not the same; it was never going to be the same. Because…because…
Lilith brought his hand to her cheek. She kept mumbling how much she loved him while kissing every part of his hand.
Though she could be swearing it to God that she loved him, it really didn’t sound like it. It sounded like…it sounded like—
Susie.
Susie saying she loved him. Susie asking if he loved her. Susie smiling to hear that he loved her. Susie. Susie. Susie. He was really tempted to say her name.
Actually, Lilith’s cell phone rang. “Oh, hang on.” She looked at her phone and glared. “It’s my parents.” She looked at him for advice.
A year ago, he would’ve said ignore them. But, not today. Not ever again. “Pick it up.”
Lilith was an expert at masking her disappointment. “Okay.” She picked up her phone. She drifted off into her own conversation.
Dirk laid down and stared at the ceiling of the tree house. If he were to make up some excuse right now, then he’d be able to go out—because Lilith never really paid attention to what she said when she was talking to her parents. And, if he were to be able to go out, then he’d walk down the block and a half or so and see that green mini-mart. He’d go in, and it’d be the like the very first time again.
It’d be just like the very first time—but, it was the second time, and it was way too different than that first time.
He sat up and grabbed Lilith’s arm. She looked at him, still talking to her parents on her phone. He then took her phone and closed it.
“Hey, Dirk-.”
He brushed his lips against hers. “Lilith, God, Lilith…” He kissed her upper lip and sucked her bottom lip. “…Susie…”
