“How was work?” Ali asked as her sister came through the door.
Susie looked at the youngest child and sighed. “Don’t bother asking. Here, your grilled chicken sandwich.”
Ali squealed and took the sandwich with a quick thank you.
Around the corner, the other two sisters peered to look at their older sister. Lee and Nita smirked.
“You didn’t get us anything?” Lee asked.
“You guys didn’t ask for anything.”
Nita pouted. “We’re family. You don’t need to ask to know that we want.”
She shook her head and headed up to her room. She was surprised to see her brother on her bed, almost asleep. “Nick,” she groaned.
He opened his eyes and looked at his sister. “Yes?”
“What are you doing here?”
“Mom’s cleaning my room; Fluffy pooped in there. And the smell is terrible…Plus, your room is the best.”
Susie sighed as she laid next to her brother.
“What’s up?” he asked as he turned to face her.
“Nothing a ten year old would understand.”
“Love life?” he innocently—or perhaps teasingly—asked.
She gave a mocked laugh. “What love life?”
“Pee-Susie, you’ll be going soon, huh…To college?”
“Yeah.”
“Then, it’ll be Pee-Lee…Then Pee-Nita…”
“Why? You’re going to miss me?”
“…Yeah. I already miss Pee-Sue. I want her to come back.”
“Well, we all grow up. Then, you’ll have to go to college, and Ali has to go to college.”
“Then, Kuhn Pa and Kuhn Ma will be the only ones left…”
“I guess. They’ll have Fluffy and Mao.”
“When I get done with college, I’ll come and live with them.” Nick gave his sister a serious look. “And-and I’ll bring in my family to live with us…”
Susie smiled, attempting to keep back the laughter. “You do that.”
Nick sat up and jumped off of her bed. “I’m going to go do my homework.”
“Okay.”
After he left, Susie’s smile broadened as she stared at the ceiling. Ever since Sunday, that Dreamer boy came every day to the mini-mart. And for everyday—the past four days—he would order something different; and he would look at her with a curiously flirtatious look.
At first, she didn’t pay much attention to it. But, the looks became more frequent and it was soon that he wasn’t the only one looking.
He was a good-looking guy; not too ugly, but certainly not the world’s handsomest guy.
She remembered that he lived behind their house, and once—just once—he came over to play. It was fall, so they were all playing in the leaf pile.
And then his dad remarried and they moved away.
Of course, they still went to the same high school, where they would occasionally bump into each other.
But, why hadn’t she felt so attracted to him then? Why was it now?
She sighed, as she realized an important factor: he was now single. Of course he had a more logical reason to look at other girls with those kind of eyes.
The first one to wake up this Saturday morning was the tomboy of the family: Lee, or Nalee to be exact. It was certainly irony being played at its finest to name this moody and rather boyish girl ‘Nalee’; for ‘Nalee’ meant ‘woman’.
Lee rolled out of her futon and nearly collided with the table fan that was on the floor. She dizzily sat up and shook her head, attempting to take out the last fragments of sleep out of her mind. Once she had steadied herself, she made way to the kitchen.
Seeing no breakfast on the stove, she picked out a few pieces of bread and a jar of jam.
Disregarding the fact that her father and their dog—Fluffy—were sleeping in the living room, she sat down in the armchair and turned on the TV.
Her father—Art—awakened and Fluffy began whining. They seemed to glare at Lee. Art picked up the Pomeranian and made way to his room.
Fifteen year old Lee turned the channel to MTV, where a re-run of ‘Pimp My Ride’ was playing. As she ate her bread, she couldn’t help but remember what went down the previous night, before she came home.
She had watched as her best friend was raped by their other best friend.
At first, it had been a joke. They had gone with a few more friends to the Crumplebottom Park on the Long Way.
For the longest time, everyone knew that Lee’s guy friend—Chase—had those kind of feelings for their other friend—Ashley. And, Ashley knew.
Ashley was a person who could easily play around with people’s feelings and still act innocent. It wasn’t a surprise when Lee and the rest of the friends found out that Ashley had been playing around with Chase’s feelings.
But, Chase was so stupid to actually believe that Ashley wanted something serious to do with him. And, he was so stupid to actually take things seriously when Ashley admitted that she wasn’t serious. This had been the week before.
Chase became rather suicidal, and Lee was there to help him. She comforted him and told him that he shouldn’t think about it, since they knew Ashley and her ways since they were kids. He believed her; or at least pretended.
Yesterday, after the group had arrived at the park, Ashley excused herself to use the ladies’ room. A few moments after she had left, Chase excused himself to get something from the car. It would be half an hour later before the group began to wonder what was taking the others long.
Lee volunteered to go find Ashley, whereas Omar—a close senior friend of Chase—volunteered to look for Chase.
Lee approached the bathroom, and knew that something was wrong. She came closer and could hear resistance and pushing. She walked to the last stall, realizing how loud the sounds were becoming. They pulsated through her ears and into her bloodstream. She realized that the stall was locked, so she used the other’s stall’s toilet to be her ladder into the forbidden.
When she saw those two, no scream could escape her lips. No word could form in her throat. A blink was the only response her body could give to the situation.
She lowered herself and carefully came out of the bathroom. She made way for the jungle gym and the tree house. For a moment, she saw her younger self with her two best friends, taking turns going down the slide. For a moment, she saw her best friends in the savage position.
Slowly, her body shook with each silent sob she let out. She buried her legs in the sand and let out her anger and her sadness.
But, the greatest sin that followed those cries was the thought of why couldn’t it have been her who Chase wanted…
The first thing that Nita did when her eyes opened was reach for the laptop that was placed near her. She opened it and looked at the response in her inbox.
She found herself smiling as she opened the response. The elongated details that could have only been typed by a genius was thrilling. She blushed as she read the naughtier parts of the e-mail.
Vanida was only thirteen years old, and she had just begun to experience those raging hormones of curiosity and questioning. Recently, she was always near her laptop, tapping away chat responses.
She chatted rather promiscuously with people she had never met but had only seen their pictures; she even admitted to herself that if push came to shove, she would die for that person.
She quickly typed back her answer; hopefully that other person was awake to answer. Last night, they had talked until early in the morning.
Last night, he hadn’t finished off every juicy detail that went on.
And, again, last night she didn’t hear what she wanted to hear.
Why was he so perfect, why did he have to be so good? She stopped typing and looked out her window, where his house was.
“I can never be that person that you want, can I?”
“Chase called.” Ponthip—the mother of all six children—busily prepared a light lunch for the remnants of the house. Only Nick and Lee were here; the other three girls had gone to the mall.
“Really…” Lee tried not to raise her voice.
“Actually, it was Becky, and she was calling saying that Chase was calling for you.”
“Is it important?”
“I think it is. Becky said it was.”
Lee nodded her head and went back to stirring the stew.
Tip noticed. “…So, will you be going?”
“Huh?”
“To see Chase. Take some soup to Becky as well…”
“…I don’t think I’ll be going.”
“You never say no. Did something happen?”
Yes. Something really bad happened. Mom, I saw-. “No.”
But, her mother knew better; she heard it from the sound of voice her daughter used. “…Okay. I’ll just go later.” Tip then took the lunch out to the table. “Bring out the stew, ‘kay?”
Lee nodded, but it didn’t register at all. She stared at the stew, looking for answers; looking for what she wanted to see. But, all she saw was the continuation of the rape and the swings and the bathroom and the sand box.
Immediately, she ran to the bathroom. She slammed the door closed and locked it. Without another thought, her face was in the toilet bowl and the remains of everything from last night came up. But, there was pain: she did not have anything last night but a few bites of bread.
When she stopped, she rolled onto her side and laid on the tile. In moments, she was weeping, her every being shaking with much grief; much regret.
Her stomach was an inferno, burning with a passion that easily matched a thousand suns. Her heart was a cracked mirror, each crack exaggerating the fact that it could never be placed back together.
After what seemed like a few minutes, a silent knock rapped against the bathroom door.
“Nalee?” The voice belonged to her father. “Noo Lee…You okay in there?”
Moments passed by before she answered that she’d be out in a few. Art sensed a moment of loneliness and respectably left here.
He left her to regret everything.
And, it would be Nalee who would come to regret everything she had ever done and not done.
Of course, she didn’t hear her cell phone ring. Of course, it would be awhile until she found out that the caller had been Chase Thompson.
Nita and Ali had gone to the pretzel stand. And, that was what Susie needed; she liked being alone because she could think about things with a clearer conscience.
“Hey there, Susie,” a familiar voice greeted.
Susie turned to the direction of the greeter: Greg Myrtle. He was with fellow friend Omar Richards. They both had smug and warm grins on their faces.
“Hey.”
“Where’ve you been?” Omar asked as he approached her. He reached out and touched her arms. “We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy for us?” Greg asked as he came a bit too close.
She looked at him when he placed a hand on her shoulder. Then, she realized it. Their breath reeked a bit of both alcohol and weed. “W-with work and community service.”
“Community service? Would working in a whore house be counted as community service, I wonder…” Greg thought aloud.
“What are you saying?”
“Nothing. It’s just a thought. Hey, let’s get some smoothies or something…” He eyed her with a lewd look.
“I-I’m waiting for my sisters.”
“They won’t go anywhere, Susie,” Omar slurred. “Or is it that you don’t want to hang out with us?”
“I-I…”
“You’d break my little heart if you don’t want to go with me,” Greg whispered.
Go away. Go away! “I-I kind of want to get my shopping done-.”
“Screw that.” Omar’s grip became a little too tight. “Come on. We haven’t hung out together since a month ago.”
“I don’t want to!”
“Don’t have to get mean…”
Their pestering went on and it seemed as though they were pulling Susie away. But, like a knight in shining armor, Dirk happened to be there. He stopped them. Omar and Greg—knowing that the Dreamer kid had taken up karate lessons and was in the wrestling team for quite some time—backed away. No worries; they’d get their chance at school.
“You okay?” Dirk asked.
Susie rubbed her arm. “I-I’m fine.”
“Did they hurt you?”
She shook her head. Instantly, she blushed, realizing how close they were. “H-honestly, I’m fine.” On a quieter note, she whispered, “Thank you.”
He heard it and blushed as well. He awkwardly swept his hand through his hair as his eyes lowered. “Uh, yeah.”
“W-what are you doing here?”
He laughed. “Shopping, of course.” He looked at the two tops that she had in her other arm. “They’re cute.”
“Do-do you think so?”
“Yeah. I think blue and brown would bring out the color of your-.” He stopped himself.
“Of my…?”
He raised his head a little. “E-eyes.”
She bit her lip and looked away. “Uh…”
“I-I like the grilled chicken sandwich,” he announced. As soon as he announced it, he regretted it. That was such a stupid remark that he wanted to hit himself for it.
But, she laughed. “I told you it was good.”
He smiled as he eased up into a simple conversation. Before he knew it, he was helping her pick out earrings and shoes. Suddenly, they were in a skater’s store, and she was helping him choose a good board. Somehow, they ended up at the ice cream parlor on the first floor and taking innocent bites of each other’s flavor.
“Wow, look at the time,” Susie announced. It was nearly six. “Gosh, I’ve got to go.”
“Already?”
“I have two sisters in this mall and I need to drive them home, or else.”
“Oh, well then…Uh, see you at school.” Somehow, that came out more awkward than he had intended it to be.
“Sure.” She smiled. “I’ll see you at school.”
She was heading towards the sliding doors. He had to ask her. If he didn’t, then he was sure that he would die immediately.
“Susie!”
She turned around. He ran to her. “What’s wrong?”
“I-I uh…c-can I have your number?”
The steps towards the Thompson house had never seen so breakable. Lee treaded the steps and wondered if they would collapse on her when she took another step.
And, when the front door opened, she wished that the steps collapsed on her the moment she set foot on them.
“Hey, Tip. Hey, Lee.” Chase smiled, as if truly happy.
Lee wanted to turn around and run back to the hole she dared to come out of.
“Come in.” Chase opened the door wider and Tip made way into the house. She knew this house just as she had known her own house.
Lee stayed behind and stared at the familiar door and the familiar face.
“You okay? You’re pale…”
She slowly nodded.
“Well, don’t be a stranger. Come in.” He laughed. “I won’t bite.”
Her eyes widened. Upon instinct, she felt like she would hurl as that smile of his unlocked his backside in the bathroom stall. Her breathing fastened.
“Lee? What’s wrong?”
“I-I-!” She instantly turned around and flew down the stairs.
“LEE!”
She made a right around the corner, passed the mini-mart, passed the library, attempting to pass the memory…
He was right behind her, she could feel it; she could hear him. Eventually, she ran all the way to Crumplebottom Park, only to regret it.
She fled into the nearby grove of trees. Nearing the willow tree, she stopped and let out a painful groan. She fell to her knees and began to pull at the grass, sending blades of grass all around her like a tornado of grass.
The grass blades stained her hands like blood; they tore at her skin like thorns. Incomprehensive language flew out of her mouth with every attempt of a scream.
And, it was her screams that brought Chase to her.
“Lee, what’s wrong?” He tried to pull her away, but she hit him.
She pounded her fists into his body.
Eventually, he succeeded in holding down her fists. “Lee!”
She looked once at him. She took in every perfect feature: his auburn hair, his caring blue eyes, his worried lips…And, she realized once again that those features weren’t for her. She let out another groan and attempted to break free of him.
He shook her. “Lee!”
She bawled. “NO!”
Without knowing what to do, Chase grabbed her and let her settle into his embrace. But, she only cried more.
“…Are you done?” Chase looked down at Lee who was still rocking in his arms.
She looked up at him. She hated the feelings that she had for him: fear, hatred, doubt, love…
“What’s with you? You’ve been weird for awhile, now.”
Ever since you started dating Ashley…I know. Lee wiped her tears with the back of her hand.
“If you’re sick, then tell me. We’ve been friends for the longest of times…”
“…How-how do you feel about Ashley?”
The name brought a shadow on Chase’s face. “…Why?”
She hiccupped. “…You’re not over her.” That was a statement. It did not require a response.
But, he couldn’t help but respond. “I-I’m over her.”
I wish you were. “Honestly?” No.
“Yes.”
You liar. She stared at him. She gave a mockingly forced laugh. “And here I thought that there would never be any secrets between us.”
His eyes widened. “W-what do you mean?”
She pushed out of his arms and stood up. “You know very well what you’ve done. I won’t tell anyone, but you should feel at least a little more detestable.”
He got it. “Lee-Lee, I-I…it-it was an-.”
She shook her head. “Don’t try to explain, you piece of shit. You hurt her. And-and, you wouldn’t understand how I feel being in between two best friends who have hurt each other.”
“It’s nothing like that, Nalee!”
“Nothing like that? Nothing like that!” She forced herself to laugh. “Chase, I saw what you did.”
That shut him up. He couldn’t respond to that.
She sighed, wiping away whatever was forming in her eyes and attempting to swallow her hiccups. “You know, sometimes I wished I was never two people’s best friend. And, other times, I wished I wasn’t your friend.” She slowly turned around and found the hiking trail to the other part of Crumplebottom Park. She didn’t look back once as she climbed that trail.
And, because she had never looked back, she didn’t see that Chase was also crying and tearing up the tufts of grass…She didn’t know that she wasn’t the only one in turmoil.
After dinner and a shower, Nita was once again typing away on her laptop. She was chatting with a neighborhood friend, when he was brought into the conversation.
Wild_Man: hey sorry i didnt respond to ur earlier mssg! :(
The-Savior-of-Hearts: its fine.
Wild_Man: r u mad?
The-Savior-of-Hearts: no. should i b? i mean, you’re probably hanging out with that person… :)
Wild_Man: well…
The-Savior-of-Hearts: omigosh, tell me about it! :D
Wild_Man: ok, ok…we went to the park again…we kissed…it was awesome!!!!!!
The-Savior-of-Hearts: 1st kiss? O.O
Wild_Man: yeah
The-Savior-of-Hearts: tongue? O_o
Wild_Man: a bit ^////^
The-Savior-of-Hearts: how naughty!
Wild_Man: it was me who did it :)
The-Savior-of-Hearts: how naughtier! >u<
Wild_Man: have u had ur 1st kiss? O.o
The-Savior-of-Hearts: …that’s a bit personal…
Wild_Man: oh, come on! >_<* we’re friends…u can tell me anything! i told u about that person and me!
The-Savior-of-Hearts: u wouldnt understand…
Wild_Man: y wouldnt i?
The-Savior-of-Hearts: …its complicated between me and him…
Wild_Man: OMG! so, there is a person!
The-Savior-of-Hearts: yeah. but he likes sum1 else…
Wild_Man: u should just tell him how u feel. im sure hed accept you…gosh, i would if i didn’t have that person! ur so pretty and nice. any guy would like u!
He was so inconsiderate. Didn’t he know that he was that someone? Didn’t he know what he was doing when he called her pretty and nice?
The-Savior-of-Hearts: but, he’s already going out w/ that sum1. i wouldnt want to make his sum1 feel bad…i dont wanna b the bad person
Wild_Man: honestly, if i liked sum1, id tell them
The-Savior-of-Hearts: im not u
I’m not inconsiderate.
Wild_Man: i’m just saying
The-Savior-of-Hearts: thanx 4 ur input
Nita couldn’t take it anymore. She set her laptop on the floor and picked up a nearby book. She could still hear the little beep sound that the computer made whenever it got a new IM.
Wild_Man: hey, nita, we should go somewhere 2morrow. i haven’t seen u in awhile…i need ur advice
A minute later.
Wild_Man: hey, u there?
Three minutes later.
Wild_Man: nita?
Five minutes later.
Wild_Man: r u still there?
Six minutes later.
Wild_Man: fine. if ur goin 2 b like this, i wont talk to u
Nine minutes later.
Wild_Man: …nita?
Ten minutes later.
Wild_Man: plz answer…
Thirteen minutes later.
Wild_Man: i really wanna talk 2 u…nita?
Twenty minutes later.
Wild_Man: i honestly wanna know how u feel about me
Twenty-one minutes later.
Wild_Man: i think that wat im doing is wrong…that I shouldnt b with that person
Twenty-two minutes later.
Wild_Man: i wanna know how u feel…about everything: me and that person…us
Twenty-five minutes later.
Wild_Man: i think i might b in love w/ u…nita?
The message was instantly deleted. It had to be a prank. He had to be messing with her. “He wouldn’t say that to me through the internet…”
Instead, Nita IM-ed a more familiar face. She smiled and was instantly excited when that other person agreed to meet with her at the park.
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